I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
