Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
