cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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