Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just cropdusted the office
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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