I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
