ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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