mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize