Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
