I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
