look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
