I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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