apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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