things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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