Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize