Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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