her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
