he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
