hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
