Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
