3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
