plz talk dirty to me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
