suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
