At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
