You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
