I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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