I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Damn victory sex feels great
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