what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
