I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
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I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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