3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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