found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
