Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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