I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
