one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
areolas are like halos for boobs.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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