so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
im on a boat
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