loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat