I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
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I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
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He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas