Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
