Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm really busy with my period
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