No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he fucked my hip out of place.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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