that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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