Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
