So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
