kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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