Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
