I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
