He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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