I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize