we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
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I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
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I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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