i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
