Christians are straight up FREAKS
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have feelings that need drinking.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
