Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think a kid would responsible me up
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
