Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
