I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
