I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
