New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
