Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
