So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I hope mine doesn't look like that
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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