you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
