Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
