apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is Oprah even human
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
