You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
