Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
