You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
