I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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