Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
