I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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